In this week’s installment of The Shea in Irving Podcast, Shea and the Jew talk about Brogan’s resurfacing, Shea punching some dude in the face and Johnny Manziel using his nose as a vacuum cleaner.
They lead off the festivities with a little baseball… Derek Jeter in the All-Star game and Bud Selig turning a blind eye to steroids… and the other blind eye on labor relations in Major League Baseball. Then The Jew takes us on a torturous journey into the “who gives a shit” background of Antitrust and labor relations in modern-America. Shea finally brings us back around, and then takes a quick left into his back problems, most likely causing your ears to bleed.
Back on topic, they get into Lebron’s decision to come back to Cleveland, which may be the most admirable decision in the history of sports, which somehow leads into a brief discussion of Shorty getting ready for megachurches and The Jew kicking her legs out from under to keep her from walking as long as he can.
Coming back around, albeit briefly, Shea hits the gas and lights up Ziggy Wolf and the Minnesota Vikings for their handling of Chris Kluwe’s employment discrimination case. That leads to a great story about Shea knocking some dirtbag out on the mean streets of Chelsea in NYC.
And wrapping up the last half of the show, Shea goes deeeeeeep into boxing, briefly into Kyle Orton and then The Jew wrangles him into talking about Josh Gordon and Johnny Manziel, until they realize they’ve talked way too long.
So Shea goes at it alone today. Unfortunately, The Jew, his roommate and the shorty took a 10-hour roadie to see his parents, and bailed on the poddy. Shea keeps it short, and talks a lot about soccer. He opens with Dwight Howard and Melo… and then its off to the races with soccer, hipsters, head injuries, NFL contracts (the weakest in the history of professional sports… in the most dangerous organized sport there is), the Angels providing fellatio and finally some phone calls. I could only listen to the first 15 minutes, because I have to respond to a goddamn bullshit ethical complaint by the end of the day.
Good luck y’all, next week we’ll all be back in business.
Shea and The Jew return for another round of water boarding for all of our near and dear listeners. First things first, Shea’s roommate got another speeding ticket, this time in South Bend; and this time she got her license suspended. The Jew would love to deal with it, but refuses to go to South Bend, so she’s on her own.
They move right into soccer, and spend the first third of the show on the World Cup, Luis Suarez’s appetite and hipster nation making us feel bad. The best part is that the two clowns manage to convince themselves they actually like soccer by the end of the show. In the meantime, Geoff stands by as Shea gives hipster nation a piece of his mind, followed by The Jew threatening to buy a pair of size 28 jeans, a size that he’s actually never worn in his life, because he went straight to husky sizes.
Once the mood is a little hostile, they get into Shea’s sabbatical, including a rundown of Hammer de Tejas’s wedding, a run-in with @stuckey2 who proceeded to buy the entire bar shots of mescal and Shea buying cocaine with Euros.
The last half of the show moves at lightning speed, starting with Butter not believing in men’s deodorant, The Jew wearing women’s hand lotion, the Big Ten full of shit, The Jew unable to pronounce disingenuous, phone calls, soccer, the roommate’s speeding ticket, Johnny Manziel and more soccer.
Yep, Brogan has gone dark… and lucky for you, the first 310 million people in America that Shea asked to fill in had plans, which leaves you with yours truly, The Jew. Butter leads off with his internal struggle with calling The Jew, The Jew, even though The Jew, and all of The Jew’s actual Jewish comrades find it highly entertaining. Wisely though, Shea reminds us that he is from Texas and has tattoos on his head, making almost anything that comes out of his mouth automatically offensive.
In a departure from the award winning weather discussion at the onset of the show, the two talk about Brogan dumping his Triumph in the Rockies, and jump right into one of the old standbys, Jim Irsay, who doesn’t understand the fuss about carrying around $29,000 in cash… and a few hundred prescription pills.
To avoid Shea having a stroke, they spin into a deep discussion of the NHL and NBA playoffs, which, once the discussion of the coverage of Bron Bron’s cramp gets moving, Shea comes dangerously close to another stroke.
The show takes a trip to snoozeville for a minute, while The Jew discusses his fascination with airplanes, his place on the spectrum and the St. Maarten airport. As he comes out of his horse tranquilizer haze, the two discuss their upcoming trip to Hammer de Tejas’s wedding in Philly. Shea requests that Big Blue Jew’s roommate go easy on the liberal wisdom around Shea’s roommate, but also admits that he too wouldn’t push it too hard with Mrs. Jew.
Finally, the pair cover the Cotto fight, some phone calls, and try to wrap the show-up as painlessly as possible, hoping that they still have a handful of listeners, outside of their own mothers, after that doozy.
In customary Burbank and Butter style, the show begins with some good old fashioned weather discussion, although this week they finally realize that this is how they start every podcast, which devolves into a conversation about how old we all are, because all we talk about is weather and how to get places with the least trouble.
They spin on their heels right into some talk about hockey, another topic that has become a staple above the fold. Thankfully, they turn their sites onto a discussion of LA versus NY… although not the hockey game… the actual cities. Quickly, though, the discussion turns to Burbank smoking weed, after Shea caught him mid-bong hit.
As they try to get back on track, Shea busts out the headlines. First up, Phil Jackson getting fined for tampering, and why the hell teams are looking at people with zero coaching experience for marquee head coaching jobs… and Brogan can’t help himself from talking about what the future has in store for the Lakers.
Batting second, Mark Cuban is turning into a Donald Trump dumbf**k with all the stupid shit that comes out of his mouth. Well worth the listen, especially because Shea drops a “marijuana cigarette” as he squeezes the throttle through a damn good due process rant.
Next, a few phone calls… a few good phone calls. A call for a newfound French/American alliance, and finally back to some worthwhile listening. Burbank picks Bron-Bron and the Heat, meaning the Spurs will sweep. They actually talk a little bit about the series, hoping beyond hope that this series doesn’t end up like the usual Heat/Spurs snorefest.
And Brogan brings the heat for a great finale… one that not only includes some good boxing banter, but also that includes an apprenticeship with a falconeer.
Burbank talks about the benefits of being a chef, many of which Butter reaps on the daily. Speaking of benefits, Shea is making his rounds at the Senior PGA apparently… either that or some degen found a great way to get a few hundred thousand You Tube hits. They jump head first into the NBA, and head on over to Jim Irsay buying his way out of what would land the rest of us in prison… state and/or federal prison for a long, long time. I haven’t been able to listen to the rest of the show, so it’ll be a surprise for all of us!
The two open the show laboring through the weather, yet again, making it about 32 weeks in a row. But they quickly moved on to the topic on all of our minds, the draft. Shea, unable to help himself, jumps right into a discussion of the Cowboys picking Zack Martin, and Shea being called a racist for calling him white, which he is; and if the Cowboys don’t throw the ball less than 47 times a half, the pick is meaningless.
Then on to Michael Sam, kissing the person he loves after getting drafted, which was certainly not a guaranteed pick, and certainly deserved some raw emotion. Marshall Henderson scored some huge degen points with his walking back of his tweets getting all over Michael Sam, but he was by no means the only one who decided to throw some hate on the interwebs, most often involving people not wanting to explain it to their children. At which point, Burbank dropped some knowledge on us about the meaning of parenting… simply by asking what the hell else your job is as a parent?
We get the weekly update on Donald Sterling, including the Anderson Cooper interview. The two take some phone calls, and Shea poses an interesting question to the audience.
They wrap up with the NBA playoffs, among other random, bizarre, strangely comfortable topics.
Brogan joins the show again, barely, but he had to get his chance to talk about the Johnny Weir bet that he NAILED. Jumping right into the headlines, Shea and The Jew were in Austin, TX for the weekend, where they had a live, and in-person Levi Mason sighting, and even more amazing, Hammer de Tejas was actually present (it was his bachelor party). Tiberious the Banker gave Shea the tip of the century with a 4-man trifecta box, which included the winning trio. Shea gives a recap of the weekend, including Levi Mason swimming across Lake Travis, until of course he got picked up by the sheriff; and the Mayweather viewing party at the Yellow Rose in Austin.
They get into some in-depth coverage of the draft, including very valid complaints about how the draft is set-up these days, which naturally leads to a discussion of Tony Romo’s future with or without the Cowboys, and Brogan’s bold prediction that the best you’re going to get out of Romo from here on out is 8-8.
Shea moves over to a discussion of Mayweather/Maidana, and the fact that Maidana fought one hell of a fight against Mayweather. Shea thinks that Mayweather’s age is starting to show in his legs… from too much training. Shea then hands the mic over to Brogan for a discussion of the NBA playoffs, which leads to more on Donald Sterling.
The two finish up a the show with some talk about trying to visit Rob Ford in rehab, among some others…
After a couple quick introductions, including Brogan yet again threatening to put a bullet in his own head because of the never-ending snow storm in Minnesota, our two degenerates get right into the Donald Sterling kerfuffle. Shea takes off like NASA, taking offense to nearly every part of issue, from the original statement, which embodies white supremacy, to the critics who call the black leaders in the NBA hypocrites for not standing up to him sooner. After dispelling with the idiots who are claiming privacy violations, Shea inquires aloud about whether or not to join the NAACP.
Somehow, the Donald Sterling conversation led its way into storytime, specifically when Shea and The Jew met William Jefferson Clinton. Which naturally lends itself to a lengthy conversation about Shea’s tattoo and mohawk. After a nice little discussion about rattails, Shea talks about why James Franklin is in love with Donald Sterling. A recent article from The Tennessean unravels rape allegations against former Vanderbilt football players, but more specifically, how James Franklin not only knew that this was going down, but made some valiant attempts at covering it up.
The boys ingeniously link the James Franklin rape cover-up to how much cash is at stake, which steers the ship back to the NBA, more Donald Sterling, and race relations in general. Shea tries to focus on the playoffs, and the actual basketball involved, but he simply can’t help himself from getting back into the Sterling issue. As the show is coming to it’s long awaited close, Brogan is finally able to peel Shea off the NBA, but only by making him even more upset by bringing up Colin Cowherd, which leads to a lot of yelling and screaming.
Brogan and Shea join us for another glorious installation of the Shea in Irving Podcast. Since Burbank is on his way to meet some “yoga bitch,” they just jump right into headlines, kicking it off with the NCAA ruling that athletes get unlimited meals. Shea immediately gets pissed. Just the threat of a union is getting these kids the perks they’ve deserved for years, and everyone who thinks unions are useless or harmful in college sports is either getting paid by the universities, the NCAA or is fresh off a lobotomy. A word of warning, put your seatbelts on… because if you missed it, Shea gets pissed. The mood gets no perkier as Shea moves on to the ball boy “reporting” boxing, and Chad “Swag” Kelly, Jim Kelly’s nephew, getting kicked off the Clemson football team. We all take a journey to hell by listening to some of Swag’s rapping.
Burbank then decides to put his windows down and ruin the acoustics of the show while on his way to meet his latest victim, while future victim, since he has verbal confirmation that he will be able to engage in sexual intercourse with the yoga instructor. As Broganomic’s GPS decides to take a turn on the show, Shea turns to the 49ers latest, specifically Colin Kaepernick and the drunk, naked girl that claimed rape after getting kicked out of Colin’s buddy’s apartment; and of course Aldon Smith yelling bomb at the airport.
Shea kicks off the baseball banter with a little rant on the Rangers, which then abruptly ends any more discussion of baseball. Shea wants to talk boxing, but first he decides to finally talk about the NBA, even though it lives right behind snooker and women’s bass fishing on his priority list of sports. On the other hand, Burbank lives for the NBA, especially the Lakers. Before going through a few upcoming fights, Shea dips his toe back in to the baseball waters, but only to mention that Josh Hamilton is injured.
As the show wraps up, Shea comes back to the union issue, the vote at Northwestern is the 25th of this month, and the brotherhood is already getting beatdown by the head coach, the President of the School, the NCAA and the new QB – who, by the way, is the son of a plastic surgeon, so obviously thinks that he’s treated fine, since Daddy throws a few extra decimal points in his checking account every other week.
As Brogan pulls up to the slay the latest bird, Shea gave a shout to @hookemnwhodey for his Masters futures, which allowed Shea to finally pay 4-months of back rent.
Burbank is back for another midweek episode of The Shea in Irving podcast. Shea and Brogan catch each other up on what’s been going on the last week or so, Brogan is out trying to find a slumpbuster, preferably one that can put together one complete sentence, because two may be pushing it. Continue reading